Will We Be Glad To See The Back Of May At The Beginning Of June?
For once, I’m not talking about the weather here, although as with yesterday’s offering from Him Upstairs, I’ve got to say this to him – it was shite, Luvvie and please can you switch the heating on again? Today is shaping up to excel where yesterday’s fine drizzle which ruined my hair and caused me to look like an escapee from the local zoo on my passport photograph, today’s rain is accompanied by gale force winds as well. Oh the joy of Britain in summer time. Isn’t it fab?
Anyway, like I said, I’m not talking about the weather, or even the order in which Months Of The Year are organised in the calendar. We didn’t adopt the Gregorian Calender for quite a while, you know and we were haphazardly milling along to the Julian Calender for quite a while. But if you’d been around in 1752, in early September, you’d have lost 11 days of your life because you’d have gone to bed all content on September 2nd, looking forward to the 3rd and been quite miffed to wake up on 14th. Particularly if it happened to be your birthday on one of those missing days, you wouldn’t have got any presents, but then again, you might have been a year younger.
No, I’m not really going on about the weather or the calendar. I’m talking about – Oh God – Dare I even mention it – The General Election. Now, don’t roll your eyes heavenwards and sigh heavily at the mere thought. I’m not going to be telling you how to vote. In fact, in the ultimate protest vote, I might not even bother voting at all.
Consider the reason – the real reason why this General Election has been called – it’s really because whoever wins has the task of sorting out Britain’s exit from the European Community – Brexit – and Theresa May suddenly realised that if she didn’t call an election, she would have to deal with it. If you ask me, she’s running scared and actually WANTS to lose the election because it gets her off the hook. Let’s face it, would YOU want to try to sort all that out? In particular, in the wake of the latest string of terrorist attacks – I think we’ve had three up to now in as many weeks – has Mrs May even considered how we are going to combat terrorism if we are not part of an organisation which allows us to data share information about suspected terrorists through 28 countries?
Balancing the books is going to be tricky, too, without European money, despite the fact that the annual contribution which the UK made to the EU will now remain at home, it will not cover vital investment into the arts, tourism, farming, business, educational projects and the like.
Then there’s the lack of access to free trade deals that the EU negotiated with 53 countries. If we are not a member of the EU, it’s likely that these deals will all have to be separately renegotiated and this could prove a huge detriment to businesses across the board.
So, by calling a General Election, and losing, Mrs May might actually have played a blinder because she can pass the buck to someone else.
However, this is where I think – hang on – who else is there that’s actually worthy of my X against their name on Thursday? Who have we got – well, we’ve already discussed Mrs May, and her party – they’re about as strong and stable as a chocolate tea pot and speaking of chocolate, if you eat the stuff, Brexit could have a significant impact on your diet because currently the Ivory Coast – the world’s largest producer of cocoa beans – still does most of its’ trade deals with the EU, where the beans are mostly processed to make chocolate and chocolate powder. So, if the UK imposes tariffs on EU imports after brexit, we’re going to pay more because the price of chocolate will rise and we’ll be left wondering if this was quite such a good idea after all.
Anyway, who else is going to look after the interests of chocolate lovers everywhere? We’ve got Mr Corbyn (Labour, if you didn’t know). Labour – the party of the Working Classes – has a leader who attended an Independent Preparatory School, and then later on allied himself with known terrorist organisations such as the IRA. Whilst he has tried very hard to dispel the voting masses of this information by insisting he was instrumental in the peace process, he cannot deny that a former IRA member – turned – informant recently quoted in the Belfast Times that whilst ‘Corbyn may not have planted a bomb and pulled a trigger, he was certainly a great encouragement to the younger generations of IRA sympathisers and this encouragement could potentially have meant the violence continuing for longer that it should’.
So far so good, we’ve got a strong and stable leader who may actually want to lose, and who doesn’t seem to have an adequate back up plan post brexit, and we’ve got a champagne socialist who’s rubbed shoulders with terrorists in the past, and now wants to sit down and have a cup of tea with Islamic State. Yippee.
Let’s consider who’s left – or Liberal Democrat – er – Tim Farron. Who? Yes, Tim Farron. Yes, that’s correct, you can vote for a political no-mark on Thursday if you so wish, although he will go against the 52% of the population which voted for Brexit, by not following through with the triggering of Article 50 because he wants us to stay in the EU. There’s a vote for democracy if you decide to put your X in the Lib Dem box!
Oh, there’s UKIP. I’m not sure about this lot at all – aren’t they just the EDL or Britain First disguised as a political party? Paul Nuttall – their current leader – was born in Merseyside – an area which has benefitted significantly from European Funding investment, creating jobs and inspiring projects over broad reaching categories, yet Paul Nuttall and his party want ‘a return to a British Parliament’, they don’t want European funding to help some of the most deprived areas in Merseyside. He’s not any good on inclusion, either, wanting to ban the Burqa in public places and opposing Labour’s plans to include LGBT – inclusive sex and relationship education in our schools. Narrow minded, bigoted racist or just simply pro – British?
So, here I am tucked up by the fire on this typically English summer day (it’s raining and the wind’s getting up) and I’m still pondering where to put my X on Thursday – there’s a lot of other what I call ‘insignificants’ or as the press more kindly put it ‘independent’ candidates that might be worth a scratch, but the trouble with voting for them is that they never win, and we’re back to a choice between a woman who avoids confrontation and doesn’t really want to win, a terrorist sympathiser, an unknown and a racist.
I’m beginning to wish there was a ‘None of The Above’ option on the ballot paper, and given the state of the weather, I might just stop at home.
© Amy J Steinberg 2017