Women On Top is Not How Equality Should Work
I get pissed off with women sometimes, and that statement, coming from a woman is probably going to piss off an awful lot of other women, but I’m sorry. You piss me off, especially over this equality nonsense.
Yes, nonsense. Ladies, this might come as a big surprise to you, but ‘equality’ is not defined by ‘having it all’ and nor does equality mean jackbooting your way through society with unreasonable demands in relation to your standing in it and then sticking out your bottom lip in what you think is a pretty pout because things didn’t go your way. (and by the way, ladies – the pout thing – it’s not pretty. You look like drowning goldfish).
Let’s face it, women have had it tough as far as equality is concerned, probably since evolution played a rather nasty trick on them and made men bigger and stronger than women. Men also relate differently to certain sociological situations, due to their hormonal structures reacting differently. This, plus their general mass / greater physical strength, gives them the real world ability to force, or harm a smaller creature. We’ve had it coming, girls, since evolution. Get used to it.
Throughout ancient cultures, there’s documentary evidence to suggest that women were already considered subordinate to men socially and legally, and as we Brits derived most of our laws and customs from ancient cultures – hey, presto girls, we’ve got an equality problem. Think yourselves lucky you weren’t around in Roman times, when a husband’s power over his wife was absolute to the point of killing her – ‘No tomato sauce? Off With your head!’ Whilst patriarchal ideology in England doesn’t quite run to beheading, men pretty much almost got away with murder, despite women through the ages from the Levellers in the mid 1600’s, to the Langham Place Group in the 1800’s and, of course, the Suffragette Movement championed by the Pankhursts.
I mention all this in an effort to advise the spoilt, vacuous I – Want – It – All – And – I – Want – It – Now women that their quest for what they consider ‘equality’ is very far removed from the real struggles experienced by women who were actually fighting for a true equality, not most women’s perception of it.
What’s happened to today’s modern woman – has she been hoodwinked into believing that she really can ‘have it all’ but only at the cost of settling for an unfair perception of ‘equality’? When people ask me what I mean by this, I can summarise it in two sentences – first off – ladies, you can’t expect a seat around the Boardroom table AND still go home early for little Johnny’s sports day. And secondly, if a man opens a door for you, let him. Just be prepared to open one for him on your way out, too, because it seems to me that modern day ‘feminism’ has forgotten about common courtesy, and oh! By the way, if ‘feminism’ really was about true gender equality, then it wouldn’t be called ‘feminism’, would it?
This basic assumption of feminists, and feminism that women can, and by God, are entitled to have it all is what is wrong with the whole equality thing. It isn’t. Equal, that is.
By definition, equality is the state of being equal, especially in status, rights or opportunities. It’s not being considered less equal that concerns me, when I read the statistics on the Equality and Human Rights Commissions’ website; it’s the comparison of 97% of hairdressing apprentices are female and are paid £109 per week, on average, and 98% of engineering apprentices are male and are paid an average of £189 per week. Well, pardon me, but that’s like comparing Jaffa Cakes (still thinking of you, Scarlet) and Hob Nobs and saying that they are both the same because they are both biscuits, when clearly they are not the same and Jaffa Cakes are much better because they’ve got that smashing orangey bit in the middle. Come to think of it, I could just eat a Jaffa Cake. But you get my drift, I hope.
Another factor that the EAHRC ignore is that there are more female hairdressers than male because perhaps, horror of horrors and aren’t they letting the side down? – more women want to be hairdressers than men. In the feminist ideology that all women should want to become engineers, are they – and possibly the EAHRC also – overlooking the woman’s choice to be a hairdresser and that a hairdresser – whether male or female – will not be paid the same rate as an engineer because of the different skill set involved. If the EAHRC wanted to highlight true inequality and a perceived gender pay gap, why did it not illustrate the differential in pay between males and females performing exactly the same job, with the same skill set? And whilst I’m ranting on the subject of gender orientated career choices, I hate this insistence that we women should all grow up WANTING to be engineers so that we can satisfy the little jobsworth who collated the statistics. Maybe we don’t. Maybe we want to be hairdressers, and girls, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t want to be hairdressers. There’s no need to force a tap wrench and chuck set into every 16 year old females hand and tell her to slip on a pair of overalls and join the boys in the factory. Fuck’s sake, who would do my hair, then?
If we speak of equality, we should be brave enough to let both sexes have choices. Be what you want to be. Do what you want to do. There is nothing wrong with being ‘traditional’ women, and men should be free to be who they are and if that includes embracing some traditional ‘male’ roles in the home, in the workplace, and in society, then so be it. We are not the same. Evolution sorted that out right from the start.
Women need to drop this constant hankering cry for equality, but only on their terms. It doesn’t work that way, ladies, and you’re in danger of having your warcry become a resounding, repetitive demand for special treatment.
In my humble opinion, men need to carry on opening doors, and women need to walk through them, but please, ladies, this time, say thank you, instead of slamming the door in his face.
© Amy J Steinberg 2018